The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, January 22, 2018

the ineluctable modality of beans

Sitting in a pew at the funeral of Ron Baines.
Tributes are being paid from the altar to those who helped Ron in his final months.
The list is long.
Although they left out the ****ing cat.
"It's like the Oscars in here," I grumble soulfully.
Presently some oul ones in the pew ahead of me look around and fix me with efulgent smiles.
"They're thanking your brother the doctor,"beams one.
"You must be so proud," beams another.
"Everybody loves their candy man," I beam back drily.

the wrongful irish police force apology to joanne hayes

Whatever next.
An apology to Larry Murphy for disrupting his serial killing activities?
An apology to Nurse Mulholland for interrupting her murder spree at Naas hospital?
An apology to insert name of blatantly guilty psycho killer here for insert gerundive whimsical notion here?

Sunday, January 21, 2018

the kerry babies

The Irish police force has this week issued an apology to Joanne Hayes, a woman who was once suspected as a direct participant in the murder of two babies.
As a citizen of the Republic of Ireland, I protest against this polce apology to Joanne Hayes which I consider unwarranted in every regard.
In April 1984 a dead baby boy was found on the beach near Cahirsiveen in County Kerry.
He had been stabbed multiple times. According to some reports the dead baby had 28 stab wounds.
Joanne Hayes and members of her family signed statements to the police admitting to participation in the killing of the stabbed baby.
In May 1984 another dead baby boy was found, this time buried on the Hayes family farm at Abbeydorney in County Kerry.
Joanne Hayes and her family soon retracted their initial statements to police admitting involvement in the death of the stabbed baby and claimed those statements had been obtained under duress.
Forensic evidence appeared to suggest that Joanne Hayes could not have been the mother of the stabbed baby boy found on the beach at Cahirsiveen.
Similar forensic evidence did confirm she was the mother of the baby found buried at the Hayes family farm in Abbeydorney.
Charges against Joanne Hayes in relation to the death of the stabbed baby were dropped in October 1984.
No charges at all were ever levelled against Joanne Hayes in regard to the baby found buried at the Hayes family farm.
In 1985 a Tribunal of Enquiry under Justice Kevin Lynch examined the circumstances and police investigations surrounding the deaths of the Kerry babies.
The Tribunal under Justice Kevin Lynch formally concluded that Joanne Hayes had strangled the baby which had been found buried at the Hayes family farm.
Justice Kevin Lynch rejected the Hayes family claims that the statements they had made admitting to involvement in the death of the stabbed baby at Cahirsiveen were obtained under police duress.
Joanne Hayes had become a cause celebre for radical feminists and for abortion campaigners.
With the aid of Independent Newspapers, the Irish Times and the broadcaster RTE, these campaigners invidiously, blatantly and shamelessly sought to link the deaths of the Kerry babies not to whoever had killed them but to an overall critique of Irish society, ie to what they falsely and maliciously claimed was the malign influence of the Catholic Church within Ireland.
In the view of these campaigners even if Joanne Hayes had murdered one or both babies that was nobody's business but her own.
Their view hinged on the twisted notion that if a person couldn't kill their unborn baby through an abortion and if they hadn't used contraceptives or couldn't find contraceptives to prevent their baby existing, then any baby murders they committed after a baby was born were purely a private affair.
This is an ultra feminist crypto Marxian position, as monstrous as it is pagan, as debased as it is debauched.
Pre eminent among the writers seeking to exonerate and elevate Joanne Hayes while blaming the babies' deaths on Catholic Church culture, were the famously misanthropic feminist IRA sympathiser Nell McCafferty wrting in the Irish Times, and the rich socialist Independent Newspapers contributor Gene Kerrigan.
In the mid 1980's Joanne Hayes produced a book in collaboration with a ghost writer journalist, purporting to give an account of the events surrounding the deaths of the Kerry babies, entitled My Story.
The publishers of Joanna Hayes' book were almost immediately compelled to pay compensation (reportedly more than a hundred thousand dollars) in an out of court settlement to four members of the police force whom she had libelled and whose reputations she had slandered.
The publishers of Joanne Hayes book also publicly apologised to the police officers whom Joanne Hayes and her ghost writer had libelled and whose reputations she had slandered.
Joanne Hayes then dropped off the radar in Ireland.
Inexplicably no attempt was made to charge her with murder in regard to the baby boy found buried at the Hayes family farm whom Judge Kevin Lynch's Tribunal had concluded she strangled.
Now 34 years after the murders, the Irish police force is claiming to have devised a new technique to create DNA profiles, and thereby to have proven conclusively at last that Joanne Hayes was not the mother of the stabbed baby found at Cahirsiveen.
The new DNA profiling technique is claimed to have been created in an Irish police forensics laboratory and to have been pioneered in the case of missing schoolboy Philip Kerins who is believed to have been kidnapped and murdered in 1986, and whose case of course the police have not solved.
The new DNA profiling technique therefore is by no means a proven, peer reviewed or tested technology.
I find the present day police apology to Joanne Hayes, a woman who admitted along with her family to causing the death of the stabbed baby at Cahirsiveen before retracting her admission, a woman who was deemed by Judge Kevin Lynch to have strangled the baby found buried at the Hayes family farm, and a woman whose publishers paid libel damages to the police officers whose reputations she had impugned in the 1980s, in the light of all this I say, I find the present police apology to Joanne Hayes thoroughly improper.
The additional police claims that they will now use this new pioneering Irish forensic laboratory invented DNA profiling technique to seek the "real" murderer of the Cahirsiveen baby ring with all the inverted integrity of OJ Simpson's claims to be seeking the real murderer of his wife Nicole and her friend Ron Brown .
Joanne Hayes deserves no apology under any circumstances.
I would ask another question.
Has the IRA terrorist, drug dealing, child abusing, people trafficking mafia, heretofore so successful in subverting the trade union movement, the civil service and the media in Ireland, have they finally found a way to subvert the Irish police forensics laboratory.
I'm just asking.
And isn't it strange to a point beyond coincidence, that Joanne Hayes and the Kerry babies should be back in the news right at the moment when political activists in our parliament and media groups, are trying to persuade the Irish people to adopt by referendum a proposal abandoning Ireland's constitutional protection of the lives of unborn babies, and permitting their unrestricted killing through the dark amoral lights of a new malevolent atheistic Marxian abortion culture.
The stabbed baby found at Cahirsiveen has long been named John.
The baby Judge Kevin Lynch stated that Joanne Hayes strangled at the Hayes family farm, was never given a name.
From now on, I shall call him Paul.
He too deserves our compassion.

Saturday, January 20, 2018


The singer Delores O'Riordan was a genius sprung from the heartland of Ireland.
By a providential twist of fate, she found a unique combination of talent in her musical collaborators and produced with them in her performances and studio recordings an extraordinary meshing of contemporary music trends with the ancient rhythms of old Ireland.
She sang fearlessly and uniquely, as she lived.
Her singing voice is instantly recognisable and utterly inimitable.
Nor in gaining super stardom did she restrict herself to the conventions of credibility or popularity.
One of her most striking songs is called Salvation.
It warns in uncompromising terms of the drug cult that is stealing lives from all age groups across the world.
Another of her songs simply eulogises her family and indeed any families in the most vulnerable and poignant expository style.
Soon after finding fame, she spoke publicly against the killing of unborn children.
Many of the media hacks from Independent Newspapers, the Irish Times and the Stalinist Irish State monopoly broadcaster RTE, who are today clustering in onanistic adulation around her coffin, many of these cravens I say, were the very ones who tried to destroy her for daring to oppose abortion when as a young woman she first became famous on both sides of the Atlantic for her warbling trill of an ordinary little love song that yet manages to be somehow unlike anything else you've ever heard, called Linger.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

sympathy with the feldwebel

Feldwebel Steiner gulped.
The entire prisoner compound was empty and a gaping hole under the wire showed where they had all escaped.
He turned to Captain Kluger.
"Zey are all gone," he gasped.
"Yes," said Captain Kluger, "report the matter at once to General Von Kikinzebawlz."

Monday, January 15, 2018

pro milo

"Don't you think it's terrible?" said the lady.
"Ah not really," I answered mellow as I get.
"But look what they've done," she spluttered.
"Most of the allegations haven't been tested in a court of law," I told her.
"That makes no difference."
"It does, yeah."
"What difference does it make?"
" Listen to me. These claims of molestation against Hollywood producers are primarily emanating from  ageing courtesans looking for a pension. That's what's going on. The actresses making their clearly coordinated claims don't pass the smell test. And let me tell you, if Harvey Weinstein was foolish enough to go into a hotel room with Dario Argento's daughter, my concerns in that case would be solely for the safety of Harvey Weinstein. A billionaire alone with a girl like that is not necessarily the most powerful person in the room. I'm just saying. Then there's the accusations against television presenters, none of which, mark you, have been subjected to legal scrutiny or defence before a Judge and Jury, and all of which, mark you, have a flavour of arbitrary vengefulness, score settling, cynical opportunism and extortion. Bringing us neatly to the ludicrous claims involving British politicians patting female journalists knees. These are faintly evocative of an episode of the Benny Hill show and would be absolutely hilarious except for the fact that the guys are killing themselves when their reputations are casually ruined by a tricoteuse media seemingly intent on replacing presumption of innocence with presumption of guilt. Oh! You might have noticed that an awful lot of the American cases are being handled by Gloria Allred or by Goria Allred's daughter who is Gloria Allred by another name."
"What's your point?" fumed my friend.
"Gloria Allred is a shakedown artist. Her actions are the conflict theory feminist equivalent of the Reverend Jesse Jackson's race baiting shakedowns of the 1980's and 1990's. Thirty years ago, Jesse Jackson had devised a business model using public sensitivity about black issues, whereby he went to large corporations, accused them of not employing enough black people, and accepted million dollar payments from them in order to go away. It was a classic shakedown and it made him a multi millionaire. Gloria Allred has devised a million dollar feminist shakedown of her own. Of course in her client Gretchen Carlson's case it was a twenty million dollar shakedown. But the point stands. The methodology is always the same. Gloria Allred coaches her clients, prepares a series of allegations against the targeted wealthy celebrity du jour, often based on tenuous uncorroborated claims of purely notional wrong doing, and then springs her trap with multiple claimants timed to emerge simultaneously in a media blitz. It's the perfect blagg. Gretchen Carlson's victim Roger Ailes is dead by the way. Would you shoot someone for twenty million dollars. Gloria Allred and Gretchen Carlson would. In fact they did. Two Labour Party politicians in England are dead as well following similar tosh talk character assassinations. It looks like the pols suicided. These shakedowns and score settlings come with a body count you know. They're not victimless crimes. And like I said so far none of these slanderous gold digging ruinations of reputations, none of them I say, have been tested in open court."
"That makes no difference," she cried.
"Do you really think it makes no difference?" I asked.
"None whatsoever."
"You think an allegation should be enough to destroy someone?"
"This sort of allegation, yes."
"In that case my darling... who could stand?"

Sunday, January 14, 2018

to the overthrow

the worm things from the soft earth
in the rainfall night crawl forth
onto pavement doorstep or road
into the concrete certainty of death

they do not think but they know
that in a darkness yet to fall
there will be an overthrow
and those who rule will crawl

and those who crawl will rule
though tonight in their impossible thousands they die
crushed under wheel trampled under foot
conquered by a nation that knows them not

wouldn't it be great

Watching Pope Francis during some ceremony on television.
He is advising a group of women to feel free to breast feed their babies in the Sistine Chapel.
Oh for a Scottish accent to shout up:
"If you want to see a bit o' tit laddie, you'll pay for it like everyone else."

the feldwebel's dictionary

EU: Exclamation of disgust favoured by teenage American girls. Also, European political project to collapse borders, debauch the peasantry, and end sovereign nationhood by replacing the Christian faith with a culture of sensual gratification, drugs, abortion, euthanasia, and suicide.

Marble: Small glass orb used as a play thing by children. Also, basic unit of mental health.

Popular Fiction: (generic noun/misnomer) Books no one wants to read or buy.

Tuesday, January 09, 2018

the crunch question

Question: Of the 1.72 billion abortions of unborn children now believed to have taken place worldwide in the past forty years, how many have involved the loss to humanity of a Shakespeare, a Moses, an Isaac Newton, a Jane Austen, a Pope John Paul The Great, a Benazir Bhutto, a Vincent Van Gogh, a Natasha Khan, an Eric Satie, a Daniel O'Connell, a Geronimo, a Queen Elizabeth, a Mahatma Gandhi, a Mother Teresa Of Calcutta, a Lao Tzu, a Nabeel Qureshi, a Mick O'Dwyer, a Jerzy Popieluszko, a Beethoven, an Abe Lincoln, a Dark Lady of the Costa Cafe in Smithfield, a William Blake, a Mariam Baouardy, a David Berlinski, a Miguel De Cervantes, an Ennio Morricone, a Quanah, a Thomas Aquinas, a Morgan Tsvangirai, a Joan Of Arc, an Alexander Solzhenitsyn, a Pastor Richard Wurmbrand, a Kateri Tekekwitha, a Tolstoy, a Gabriel Faure, a Saint Augustine of Hippo, a Henry Ford, a Muhammad Ibn Musa Al Khwarizmi, a Florence Nightingale, a Churchill, a Ludovico Einaudi, a Pocahontas, a Father Ragheed Aziz Ghani, a Richmal Crompton, an Enid Blyton, a PG Wodehouse, an Aung San Suu Kyi, a Maria Callas, a CS Lewis, a Margaret Thatcher, an Arno Penzias, a David Ben Gurion, or a Jesus?

Answer: 1.72 billion of them.