The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

the sage of kildare

Many happy years ago of an Autumn evening at the Chateau de Healy in the peaceful Celtic hamlet of Kilcullen, a great man was enjoying some quiet time by his fireside.
He was a gentle soul, beloved of the people of that place, renowned indeed far and wide for his sagacity and wit.
The noble Heelers (for it was he) was watching Live And Let Die on the box with a cup of coffee near his hand and a sheep dog lying at his feet.
All seemed right with the world.
Abruptly the front door of the chateau burst inwards, and moments later the door of the television room did likewise, revealing to our peaceloving sage, a pair of little girls not more than twelve years old.
The children, cousins of the great man, entered in the manner of whirling dervishes all scarves and pig tails and profound upset.
"What's wrong?" said the noble Heelers.
His voice was calm but you might have detected an anxious note, because the bit of the film was coming up where Mr Big partially slits James Bond's wrists and says: "I'm sure you'll find those wounds quite fatal Mr Bond," and Rodge replies: "Couldn't we have tried something on a different vein," and Heelers, who is much amused by such things, didn't want to miss it.
Cousin Emma all of twelve years old piped up: "We've been talking about God."
Heelers noble brow furrowed nobly.
He was indicating puzzlement.
Emma's friend Lavinia explained further: "We were wondering what we'd do if God asked us to kill someone."
Heelers noble eyes widened nobly.
He was indicating mild alarm.
Emma said: "Oh James, if God asked you to do something you'd have to do it."
Heelers sat back in his chair.
"And if God asked you to become nuns?" he enquired gently.
"Oh I couldn't be a nun," shot back Emma without hesitation.
"Me neither," said Lavinia. "No way."
Heelers' question seemed to have put things in perspective somewhat.
There was no more talk of committing culpable homicide on behalf of the Deity after that.

2 Comments:

Blogger Schneewittchen said...

The girls seem very young for the Anguish of Abraham.
But well played Heelers.

7:35 AM  
Blogger heelers said...

Paddy Pup gets asked to eat my socks all the time.
J

3:39 PM  

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