The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, March 06, 2010

cowboys

Watching yet another Billy The Kid movie with Serafina.
Wearisome violence.
Good theme song by Bon Jovi though.
"Shot down,
In a blaze of glory.
Shot down,
Beneath the sun.
Made redundant,
By a bunch of parvenus.
Made redundant,
By low life scum.
You know I never drew first, because I can't draw to save my life,
But I'm a witty one.
Call me Youngish Gun."
Bon Jovi music in the old west.
It rocks Beavis.
The album should be entitled Now That's What I Call An Anachronism.
One good scene as well somewhere in the middle of the balletic dross violence.
Emilio Estevez playing me is facing down John Fry of the Johnston Press played by Vincent Price.
They are beneath the midday sun on the main street of the standard dusty wild west frontier town from central casting.
(Who did what in the where now? - Ed note.)
The scene is pure melodramatic hokum.
But for some reason it works.
John Fry snarls: "You are not Tristram Shandy."
And Emilio Estevez cackles like a loon.
We have no idea why he's laughing.
But there's something fearful in his laughter because we know his reputation.
He's a legend in the old west.
He's satirised fifteen Managing Directors in cold blood before the age of 43.
He's being hunted across twenty States by Al Qaeda, the CIA, the corrupt Irish police force, a devil worshiping cult with active branches on the Island of Jersey and in the Irish suburban village of Dalkey, the Mossad (Hey you guys. Good to know you're here. About time someone involved in the War On Terror who isn't necessarily trying to kill me, began reading this site. You're a bit late arriving at the party though. But never mind. And since when did Israeli intelligence get so interested in UFO's?), yeah all these are reading The Heelers Diaries, and who knows who else.
The moral being that when Heelers the Kid cackles, you listen.
So John Fry has just snarled, perhaps a tad desperately, that Heelers is not Tristram Shandy.
Emilio Estevez stops laughing suddenly.
His eyes are locked on John Fry.
Then Emilio says: "Why don't you draw that gun and let's find out?"

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who's Serafina?
Avid Fan

4:38 AM  
Blogger heelers said...

It's a pet name for my hamster.

4:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heelers I keel you.
Serafina

4:41 AM  

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