The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, September 14, 2009

the monica leech laugh in

Old man Ganucci looked out the window over his garden.
The lawns and flower beds were running wild.
This year the aches and pains in his back had prevented him from tending his pride and joy.
Wearily he sat himself down at the kitchen table and began to write a letter to his son Vinnie.
Vinnie was in jail for whatever it is Italians go to jail for in New Jersey.
Mr Ganucci wrote.
"Caro bambino Vincenzo.
It is a source of great sadness to me that we are not together at this moment. Particularly since the garden which I love more than life itself, is becoming overgrown with weeds and I, an old man, am too weak to dig it. If only you were here. But alas.
Your loving Papa."
Mr Ganucci posted the letter that afternoon.
A few days later a reply came, postmarked with the distinctive logo of Attica penitentiary prison.
Mr Ganucci opened it.
The letter read.
"Papa.
Whatever the hell you do, don't dig up the garden. That's where I've hidden the bodies.
Baci e abracci.
Vincenzo."
Mr Ganucci sighed.
He had barely finished sighing when the sound of sirens and overhead helicopters filled the room.
He glanced out the window.
It was as if the entire New Jersey police department had descended on his garden, along with black suited FBI agents, and a substantial military detachment from Homeland Security.
Cops, agents and soldiers descended on the flower beds.
In moments the entire garden had been dug up.
An apologetic man in black presented himself at the door.
"We're sorry about this Mr Ganucci," said the man in black. "We will of course reimburse you fully for any damage to your garden. Our mistake."
As quickly as they'd arrived the security forces vanished.
Mr Ganucci began to make his tea.
He was whistling to himself.
The phone rang.
It was a long distance call from Attica prison.
"Pop," roared Vinnie down the line. "This was the best I could I do. I'm sorry I couldn't be there myself."

***************
Joke lifted from Jean M Balconi's quirky little website http://jmbalconi.stblogs.com/ which often contains reflections of particular interest to Catholics. Clearly the church is attracting an interesting clientele these days.

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