The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

seven little jihadis

Evening at the chateau.
"I didn't realise I needed a Visa to get into the United States," said my sister Petal looking peevish.
The noble Heelers allowed himself a gentle grin.
"It's a new requirement," I said. "As far as I know you have to contact the American embassy at least three days before travelling."
"Why?" said Petal.
My grin deepened into night.
"Because our corrupt kleptocratic Fianna Fail government has been selling Irish passports to Jihadis," I said grimly. "It's a tremendously successful policy. We've got two hundred thousand Muslims living here who will inevitably decide they want to rule us the way they've decided precisely the same thing in every other country that's let them in. It's a marvellous policy for Fianna Fail. They've got all these new friends who don't think we're human because we're not Muslim. And our old friends are requiring us to carry Visas for the first time in a hundred years. It's a Fianna Fail home run. They've managed to briefly enrich themselves with a currency that's about to evaporate. And they may just have put an end to Ireland."
As we spoke the Dad turned up the news on the television.
We heard a breaking news story, jangling and dramatic and accented as only Irish newsreaders know how.
The news was that seven Muslim Jihadis had been arrested this evening in Ireland.
The seven Jihadis were part of a plot to murder a cartoonist whom they considered had insulted their peaceloving religion with one of his drawings.
You couldn't make it up.

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