The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

miscellaneous extraneous aneous

UP TO NO GOOD IN THE WOODSHED
A new activist group supposedly for priests has been established in Ireland.
The organisation includes Peter McVerry, Enda McDonough and Brian Darcy. Names to conjure with. Apparently they asked Karl Marx to join but he considered the group a little bit too leftwing and anti Christian for his liking.
***
THE MUSSIES PROXY ARMIES
Nice little mini riot staged in Dublin by Al Qaeda to welcome Prime Minister Tony Blair to our shores. They didn't take long to hijack the discourse, did they? The Irish may like Tony Blair for bringing peace to our land, but why should we be able to welcome him if Al Qaeda says nay! Mr Blair was here for a book signing when the Muslims intervened. It was interesting to see the heroic lengths to which RTE and Sky News cameramen went, in order to avoid showing Muslims on screen during the riot on O'Connell Street. By panning suddenly and showing only close ups, they were almost able to conceal the 200 Muslims who made up the body of the rioters and focus instead on the five actual Irish people there. These five were all members of the IRA and various splinter groups from the IRA. The Mussies have found new friends. Bless.
***
SCENES FROM THE DAILY STAR HEAD OFFICE
Editor Ger Colleran stared at the printout. He was a bearded grinning slatternly little egg yolk of a man. But his grin lacked anything you might mistake for humour, wit or intelligence. It was the venal grin of pure banal evil. He was reading an article from The Heelers Diaries. His hand slowly balled into a fist, crumpling the parchment. Although his rictus grin hadn't altered, his servants knew he was seething with rage. "I want this Heelers... dead!" he roared. "I want his sheepdog... dead! I want his budgies... dead! I want his hamster... dead! I want his other hamster, the hairy one... dead! I want his plum tree... dead! I want his decrepit 1998 Nissan Almera... dead! I want that wooden bench he tried to build in the corner of his garden... dead! I want those sexy Russian women he's always meeting... to come in here for a job interview." His minions cowered in abject terror. They knew it was going to be a long day.
***
WHAT IS HAPPENING IN PAKISTAN
Al Qaeda, sponsored by Iran, is currently trying the same strategy in Pakistan that it tried in Iraq in 2006. They're blowing up as many people as they can wherever they can. Al Qaeda is trying to provoke a civil war between any and every Muslim faction so that Al Qaeda can then step into the chaos and take over. I gotta tell ya folks. This is one crisis you won't solve by allowing the UN to ship food aid to the terrorists who are currently complaining about getting their feet wet in floods that have occurred only because a substantial proportion of the population of Pakistan spends its time engaged in Jihad rather than building flood defences and working for a living. Incidentally, although General Petraeus defeated the Al Qaeda strategy in Iraq, thanks to the persistence and courage of President Bush, freshman American President Barack Obama has now snatched defeat from the jaws of that victory by precipitively withdrawing the American army from Iraq and announcing an end to combat operations. You could imagine what would have happened after World War Two if America had simply left Europe to deal with Communist Russia on its own. Russia would have taken the lot. Al Qaeda and the Iranians must be dancing in the streets. Well they will be very soon. Dancing on the dead.
***
STATECRAFT
A few years ago, the notion was being put about that America was the only superpower remaining on earth. This notion was being propagated mainly by those who detested America, ie those who wanted to blame her for every problem on the planet and those who hoped to thereby damn her with insurmountable responsibilities. It was a notion being propagated consistently by Communist sympathisers in dying media groups like Time Magazine, and Newsweek, and the Washington Post, and the New York Times, and Channel Four, and Le Monde, and The Times Of London, and the Guardian, and the Telegraph, and the Daily Mail, and the Irish Times, and CBS, and CNN, and NBC and ABC and the BBC, all who felt history had come to an end merely because Communism had failed to take over the world. The notion that history might end simply because the Soviet Union had collapsed was of course cretinous. But it was also malign and vindictive. It was a view perpetrated by faux academic media atheists who rather than admit they were grievously wrong about communism, even with the evidence before their eyes, preferred to reiterate their proto communist analysis of society under a new terminology. The Soviet Union had dropped dead at their feet and without a pause for thought or self examination, they had shunted the corpse to one side, and resumed their anti Western attempts to question the Free World and more importantly the human soul, and most importantly God, out of existence. Here is the news. History cannot come to an end. Communism has never really gone away although the Russian people's attempted repudiation of it was, in my view, genuine. But history at an end? No. Certainly the ancient evil which has stalked us from the camp fire to the sky scraper, the worm of old whose name is satan, he most assuredly had not given up his age old battle to divide the human race against itself. I say it again. History cannot come to an end until God chooses to end it. Suggesting history was over was an attempt to lull humanity into letting its guard down and abandoning its duties to itself. But I digress. There are in fact five superpowers on earth. America is a superpower simply because of who she is, the freedoms she accords her citizens and her historical championing of freedom worldwide. Western Europe is a superpower because of her Christian cultural heritage which the present socialist rulers of Europe are attempting to expunge. Russia is a superpower because she has the largest land area of any country. China is a superpower because she has the largest population of any country. India is a superpower because she is the world's most populous democracy. Thus the five superpowers on earth are America, Western Europe, Russia, China and India. And you know what? The Muslims are at war with all of them. In the past ten years, Muslims have toppled sky scrapers in America. Muslims have sown carnage across Western Europe, blown up trains in London and Madrid, torched French cities, stabbed the mayor of Paris, murdered Prime Minister Pym Fortyn in the Netherlands, cut down Dutch film director Theo Van Gogh, and attempted to poison Rome's water supply with cyanide. Muslims are trying to detach southern Russia from Russia, and in pursuit of this aim have blown up trains, planes, and automobiles, apartment buildings, hotels and restaurants, along with butchering 337 school children at Beslan. Muslims have spent fifty years trying to detach Kashmir from India, shooting up the Indian parliament, bombing yet more trains and slaughtering ever more citizens in the streets of Bombay and other cities. Muslims are trying to secede Xinjiang from China using similar methods. And that's just what Muslims are doing to the superpowers. Muslims have murdered thousands of people in Thailand in the past ten years, attempting to secede the Southern Thai provinces for an independent Muslim State. The Buddhist Thais have been saddled with a Muslim President in a coup d'etat that was utterly unreported internationally. Muslims have spent half a century shooting up the Philippines in an attempt to secede Mindanao island from the Philippines. Muslims have successfully seceded Northern Cyprus from Cyprus. Muslims have successfully seceded Kosovo from Serbia. Muslims have killed more than a hundred people in bombings in Argentina directed against Jewish organisations. Muslims have instituted Sharia law in parts of Nigeria and Uganda, countries which had no Muslim tradition until recently. Muslims have killed three million people in a race war against the Christians and Animists of Southern Sudan. Muslims have spent sixty years trying to wipe the State Of Israel off the map, in the process getting their arses kicked comprehensively every time they launched yet another sneak attack on Israel, and then relying on the UN to step in and prevent the Israelis wiping THEM off the face of the earth. The Muslim fascist expansions and aggressions which I have just described have all occured within the past forty years. They are all ongoing. They are all happening now.
***
TEA WITH A RUSSKI
Irina stared at me.
"You think all Muslims are bad," she pronounced.
"No," I said. "I think that there is a cultural dysfunction arising within Islamic society generally which now threatens the world. We either fight it or surrender to it."
She held up her lily hand with all the regal authority of the beautiful.
"James," she murmured. "I think it's time to end this conversation. It is going nowhere."
That's the problem bold readers.
Most of us just don't want to know.
We think if we criminalise President Bush and Prime Minister Blair, maybe the Jihad will go away.
***
AND FINALLY ESTHER
This one's true.
Some years ago Father Benedict Groeschel an American Padre visited Ireland's national broadcaster the famously anti Catholic RTE.
Afterwards he commented drily: "I felt about as welcome there as a ham sandwich at a Jewish picnic."

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