The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, February 25, 2011

beauty and the beastly

MY INTERVIEW WITH THE ROSE OF TRALEE
(Interview conducted in the queue at the Cafe Des Beaux Parvenus in Newbridge Silverware.)

Me: I've just been having a most interesting chat with your mother. I was saying how amazing it was, you winning the Rose Of Tralee. Had to have been a fix. A right royal ready up. I mean two girls from the same town winning it in the space of a couple of years. Tell me the truth. How was it done?
Her: Ha, ha.
Me: And I suppose you hate each other as well.
Her: No, she's lovely.
Me: Is it sort of meow, meow, slash, slash, fingernails at dawn type thing?
Her: Not at all. I met up with her last week. We get on really well. I think she's great.
Me: Oh come on Claire. You can tell me. Where would I publish it anyway? No newspaper in Ireland would touch me with a forty foot barge pole.
Her: That sounds true.
Me: And another thing. Why are they serving you here ahead of me? Last time I checked I was ahead of you in this queue. As Rose Of Tralee, are you automatically entitled to get served ahead of people who've been queueing longer?
Her: I'll lend you the tiara if you like.

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