The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, June 06, 2011

of mice and men and budgies

"What was God thinking when he gave hamsters tails?" enquires Fur Ham musingly.
I endeavour to handle the question with tact and diplomacy.
"Sorry Fur Ham," sez me. "He didn't really give you a tail. That thing's more a little shtumpeen really. It's like an afterthought."
By the way gentle readers, Little Shtumpeen is colloquial Irish English for little stump.
"Hey," sez Fur Ham. "There's no call to get personal."
"I'd say God had just about finished his first hamster," continues me. "And he was thinking, hmmm these aren't bad. And maybe there was a knock at the door. Probably someone from Porlock calling about the electricity metre. And God hadn't made up his mind what to do about the tail. But he had to answer the door. So he just zapped up a little shtumpeen and left it at that."
"Hey," cries Hammy again, and then after a moment: "What was he thinking when he made budgies?"
"God only knows," I answer fervently.

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