mirror in june

Browsing through the pages of the Irish Times last week I came upon an article about male attitudes to women. The article was classic Irish Times wimminy fembo drivel but I read it anyway on the off chance of improving myself. It took me a quarter of an hour to slosh my way through the purple prose. It felt like a lifetime. The writer, Miss Lara Bantam, asserted that all human society is a conspiracy against women. She claimed that evil males were to blame for our every ill, from violence, street crime, and political corruption, through to corrupt banks, the drug trade, international warfare, Islamism, and pornography. Ho hum. She'd obviously never heard of satan. Or if she had, she'd concluded he was just another male imperialist out for some cheap larfs at women's expense. The writer's most bitter venom was reserved for those men, veritably legions of em apparently, who look on women as sex objects. Well folks all this time I thought I had it rough. But really the downfall of the human race is my fault. Bad James. Bad. I finished the article a wiser weaker man and glanced at the illustration alongside it. it was a half page colour picture of the author. She had lustrous blonde hair, and a tight fitting shirt opened three buttons. Her leather skirt was infinitesimal and the photograph had been taken from a very low angle to give us a striking shot of her cocquettishly crossed, though still thoroughly magnificent, silken clad thighs and shiny black boots. Words fail me.