The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, May 16, 2015

heelers debates a leaflet

Sitting in the Tearman Cafe quaffing a coffee and struggling manfully with the battered sausage.
My eye falls on a brightly coloured leaflet urging Irish people to vote Yes in our forthcoming referendum on Same Sex marriage.
The referendum has come about because a political pseudo elite wishes to distract Irish people from the real issues affecting our country.
Instead of dealing with economic collapse, the rise of the mafias, and Jihadi immigration, our government has forced us to consider a purely frivolous campaign to deem Same Sex sexual relationships as marriages.
Someone has left the leaflet advocating this nonsense on my table.
The leaflet features a photo of a congenial looking fellow styling himself Pat Carey and proclaiming: "I think we are a more gentle and kind society. A Yes vote will help us along that road."
I quickly jot a few statistics beside Pat Carey's assertion about Ireland being more gentle and kind today than it was before.
I write on the leaflet: "There are 600 suicides in Ireland every year according to official figures. There are 600 deaths among drug addicts in Ireland every year. There are 100 known mob killings in Ireland every year. The IRA, and its associated mafias Al Qaeda, the Chinese Triads, the Nigerian gangstahs, Cosa Nostra and the new Eastern European thug gangs from Russia, Ukraine and the Baltics, have been dividing Ireland up into personal fiefdoms. How dare you suggest this Ireland is more gentle or kind than any that came before. How dare you Pat Carey."
This was vintage Heelers compassion.
Gentle Kind. But with a certain edge. And with a humble awareness that the present generation in Ireland is not entitled to stand in judgement on those who came before.
The Fine Gaelers would throw a tin of lubricant at Pat Carey and tell him: "Yeah sure, call that a marriage."
I'd be trying to help him be a better person by honestly responding to what he is saying.
I turned over the leaflet.
The far side consisted of a number of bullet points advocating a Yes vote in the referendum.
I wrote my humble replies to each assertion.
Below you see Pat Carey's leaflet assertions in red and my jotted replies after each one.

First Pat Carey asserted: "This referendum is about real people and real families. It's about people that we know; our family members, friends, neighbours and colleagues."
I wrote in answer: "No. This referendum is about distracting Ireland from the utter incompetence and corruption of Fine Gael in government. There was no broad public demand for it. Fine Gael sprang this on the country to distract from Fine Gael's imminent demise as a political party. I would suggest that the referendum is also about caving in to the lobbying power of American billionaire IRA financier Chuck Feeny who has sponsored the creation in Ireland of self styled advocacy groups promoting the notion of Same Sex Marriage. I ask you. Imagine letting a bunch of bigoted, knee capping, drug dealing, people trafficking, clapped out marxian c--ts tell us what marriage is, Chuckie R Law indeed."
Pat Carey's next point read: "Irish people are fair minded, welcoming and confident. Voting Yes will ensure that everyone in our families is protected by the Constitution."
I wrote in reply: "Just like in Thailand, that other anti Catholic bastion of Children's Rights where compulsory Same Sex activity is considered a necessary stage of development for quick promotion within the family brothel business."
Pat Carey's leaflet continued: "Voting Yes will take from no one. Allowing lesbian and gay couples to marry will not affect any other marriage or family."
I wrote under that: "It will define as marriage something that isn't marriage."
Pat Carey next argued: "While civil partnership has provided much needed recognition for lesbian and gay couples, it falls short of full constitutional equality. Having a separate and lesser institution sends a clear message that lesbian and gay people are not equally valued."
I answered: "The message it sends is that marriage is a life long relationship between a man and a woman."
Pat Carey then stated: "This referendum relates to civil marriage in a registry office, not religious marriage. Churches cannot be forced to marry anyone and will not be affected in any way."
I countered by referring to recent newspaper stories: "Churches will be forced to do the ceremonies just as bakeries are already being forced to bake the cakes."
Pat Carey added: "A Yes vote stengthens marriage, protects eveyone in all our families. A Yes vote is a vote for family values."
I answered: "IRA family values. F--k me pink."


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