The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

the strange alternate realities of midnight

Flicking through the channels on the sexevision.
I alight on MTV.
They are showing a music video I haven't seen before.
It has Mullah Omar, the late chief of the Taliban, an Al Qaeda combo that ran Afghanistan for a while, singing Do Ya Think I'm Sexy.
Why didn't I get a memo about this?
I had heard the commentator Mark Steyn waffling on about a Rod Stewart video being found in Mullah Omar's underwear or somewhere, but I didn't realise Mullah Omar was actually in the video.
Mullah Omar sings:

"If you are a Muzzie
And you think I'm sexy
Come on sugar blow yourself up
If you are a baddie
Why not be Jihadi
It's easier than throwing up
Ner ner ner ner ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
We hijack aeroplanes
And headhack our way through Syria
We've got A-bombs in Pakistan
And Iran will bring them nearer ya
We're in love with murder
So we don't really fear ya
If you are a Muzzie
And you think I'm sexy
Come on sugar slaughter some human beings
Just put on a burka
You know how to work a
It's Islam and you know it's obscene
Ner ner ner ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
Ner ner ner ner ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
1400 years enslaving
We think it's really cushy
We love it when the liberals
Keep blaming President Bushy
No more immigration law
We're making it go mushy
It's Death to the West
Now shake your Muslim tushy
If you want my bombies
And you think I'm sexy
Come on baby destroy the world
If you are a baddie
Why not be Jihadi
Psychotic is the operative word
Ner ner ner ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
Ner ner ner ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
The Prophet Muhammed
Gives us our excuses
All your defences
Are rendered virtually useless
Cos we just accuse you
Of civil rights abuses
We come here to kill
You know you can't refuse us
If you want my Quran
And you think I'm sexy
Come on sugar burn some cities
If you really love me
Just reach out and touch me
Then we'll start headhacking the kiddies
Ner ner ner ner ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner
Nerdle nerdle nerdle ner


Personally I prefer this one to Rod Stewart's version.

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