The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, June 24, 2017

heeler the peelers fashion tips for the modern girl

Fake tan... no no no.

the humane killers

(being a short screed in the form of a list on the faux humanitarianism of outgoing prime minister Enda Kenny, his Fine Gael party, and the pseudo elites of Ireland.)

1. They were so humane that when the IRA gangster bank Anglo Irish Bank collapsed because the IRA were systematically burglarishing it through illegal billion dollar loans to themselves, Enda Kenny and his government continued the corrupt previous policies of a previous corrupt government in continuing to corruptly use tax payers money to pay the IRA's debts to its own bank.

2. When Lochlainn Quinn's AIB bank went bust, Enda Kenny was so humane that he ignored the conflict of interest in having Lochlainn Quinn's brother Ruairi as a member of his government, and bailed out AIB to the tune of billions of tax payers' dollars.

3. When I put it to Enda Kenny ten years ago at a dinner party in the town of Athy (capital of the IRA's caliphate in South Kildare) that serial killer Larry Murphy was refusing to discuss his various crimes while sitting out a pattycake prison sentence for a kidnapping, torture, rape and murder where he was interrupted before killing the victim, a sentence imposed by a liberal judge who allowed Murphy to avoid testifying by accepting a late guilty plea, when I told Enda Kenny that police and FBI sources believed Murphy had killed, killed, raped, raped and tortured and killed before, but that we were allowing him to sit in glorious silence in his jail cell rather than compelling him to tell us where those murdered girls and boys and adults were and who are the other members of his coven, when I told Enda Kenny this, Enda Kenny told me: "We can do something there." Little did I dream that doing something meant the humanitarian Fine Gaeler solution of releasing Larry Murphy, giving him an Irish passport and setting him loose on the boys and girls, men and women of Europe.

4. In Enda Kenny's humane Ireland it is forbidden to slap children in school but the humanitarians are perfectly willing to dose children with Ridilin and other mind altering drugs.

5. Enda Kenny was so humane that he absolutely refused to tackle the crime wave inflicted on Ireland by Tinker Gangs. Enda Kenny's humane solution to the wave of misery unleashed by the Tinkers was to designate Tinkers an ethnic minority.

6. Enda Kenny and his pseudo elites are much to humane to teach children respect for their own bodies so instead they have facilitated children with access to abortion pills no questions asked without parental consent no minimum age, at pharmacies all over Ireland, thereby turning children into murderers often before they reach their teens.

7. Enda Kenny and his government were so humane that they refused to take legal action against white collar criminal Denis O'Brien after O'Brien was deemed by a judicial enquiry to have bribed Michael Lowry a Communications Minister in a former Fine Gael government in order to obtain mobile phone service provision contracts dirt cheap thereby setting the billion dollar foundations for Denis O'Brien's stolen fortune, Instead Enda Kenny looked the other way while Denis O'Brien took control of Independent Newspapers and began filling the bankrupt readerless publications of that group with laudatory articles and photos of, you guessed it, Enda Kenny.

8. Enda Kenny was so humane that while refusing to have Denis O'Brien jailed or even investigated, he did find time to permit AIB bank (Remember them?) which had gone bust lending money to Denis O'Brien's newspapers, Enda Kenny I say, having nationalised AIB as previously mentioned, permitted AIB to cancel the billion dollar debts of Denis O'Brien's bankrupt newspapers. This was particular humane because it meant Denis O'Brien didn't have to spend a penny of his stolen billion dollar fortune to pay his billion dollar debts. The tax payer and the citizenry picked up the tab.

9. Enda Kenny was so humane that after Lochlainn Quinn as board member of AIB presided over the absolute collapse of AIB, Enda Kenny instead of banning Lochlainn Quinn from holding any further positions of corporate governance, allowed him to become chairman of the ESB, Ireland's State owned electricity company.

10. Enda Kenny is so humane that in response to public concerns about the collapse of immigration law in Ireland and Europe, he sent the Irish navy to the Mediterranean, not to secure the Boarder but to help people traffickers ship their Muslims ashore. My point about the false humanitarianism of helping people traffickers land the human beings they ship as cargo, is that it has helped (along with the Let-Em-In policies of German Chancellor Frau Angela Merkel and the current occupant of the See of Saint Peter, Jorge Bergoglio) to promote an exponentially unprecedented rush of people trafficking on the Southern Boarder of Europe, in turn of course leading to exponentially more deaths than would have occurred if we'd simply secured the Boarder in the first place and discouraged the people traffickers thusly from targetting us.

11. Enda Kenny and his government are so humane that they proposed to tackle Ireland's skyrocketing suicide rate by abolishing the concept of suicide.

12. The depths of Enda Kenny's humanitariaism are perhaps best shown by the manner in which he promised not to legalise abortion and then legalised it anyway once elected.

13. Enda Kenny was so humane that he couldn't bring himself to fire the most infamously corrupt police chief in our history, a character called Noirin O'Sullivan who has been implicated in parliament by the leader of the Labour Party as being a party to the framing of a hero cop for child abuse. Enda Kenny instead of firing Noirin O'Sullivan, appointed a committe to investigate her, a committee which is being humanely led by the incompetent scoundrel who hired her as Chief of Police in the first place.

14. Enda Kenny is so humane that he has monstrously presided over a situation where a Health Board website styled Spun Out, was advising children on how best to conduct sexual proclivities which the site calls "threesomes."

15. Enda Kenny is so humane that he has permitted our hugely disrupted generation of children to be taught that they may be gender fluid, or that they might indeed like to transition to a different gender, with the option of a mutilating sex change operation at fifteen to seal the deal. Counsellors fail to tell the children that the operation doesn't work, and that it will mean the must remain on a powerful cocktail of gender suppressant drugs for the rest of their lives.

16. Enda Kenny is so humane that he has silenced and marginalised all public concerns about the collapse of immigration law by labelling such concerns racist. Instead he has allowed the Muslim Brotherhood and its Al Qaeda and Isis franchises, to turn Ireland into a forward operating base for attacks against United States of America, Great Britain, Western Europe and the rest of the world. Enda Kenny's single greatest achievement has been to turn Ireland into Jihad Central for the planet earth.

17. Enda Kenny's humanitarianism also meant he was unwilling to do anything about the rise of the IRA as an international mafia or the monolithic extension of IRA mafia power throughout Ireland. As IRA skang gangs have waged turf wars in towns and villages across the country, Enda Kenny bleated: "Oh it will take many years to sort out the gangs." Meanwhile the citizens cower in fear and the IRA has begun dividing up Ireland into personal fiefdoms, apportioning parcels to the Cosa Nostra, Chinese Triads, Nigerian devil worship rings, the Russian mob and of course those little known Muslim combos the Muslim Brotherhood, Al Qaeda and Isis.

18. As Islamic terrorism nests and metastasizes in Ireland, Enda Kenny being too humane to do anything about it, has instead proposed censoring the internet to stop people like me pointing it out.. The pro censorship position puts him in truly exalted company including the Chinese Communist government and the Islamic Republic of Iran.

19. Enda Kenny was so humane that during Ireland's recent eight year economic bankruptcy, he couldn't bring himself to reduce the vastly inflated wages of Ireland's indolent narcoleptic State employees. Instead he invented new taxes to impose on the citizenry so that teachers, nurses, doctors, soldiers, cops, lawyers and uncivil servants could continue to wax fat on their manifest corruptions. To keep these trade unionised louts in the style to which they have become accustomed Enda Kenny introduced cleverly themed new taxes, a Universal Social Charge on everything that moves, a water tax, a local property tax and even a proposed tax on lap top computers. Bear in mind that in Ireland we are forced to pay a tax if we own a television. This tax is used to finance Ireland's unwatchable Stalinist abortionist anti Catholic State broadcaster RTE.

20. Enda Kenny was so humane that he couldn't quite bring himself to do anything about IRA mafia  rackateers controlling Ireland's trade union movement. Presumably because he is aware that IRA mobsters like running trade unions and he considered it would be inhumane to deny them this simple pleasure.

21. I used to call Enda Kenny a weak, vapid, vascillatory, vacuous, hairstyle of a man. I was just being nice. But in truth, I'll miss him.

22. Enda Kenny was so humane that to please bigots and bolshevicks, he closed Ireland's embassy to the Vatican. He obviously thought that closing the Vatican embassy was the humane thing to do because it was the policy advocated by a small coterie of IRA crypto fascists, a decaying decanter of Irish Times reading bigots, and by a splodge of general half lahs amid the peasantry and by absolutely no one else. He must have known that the IRA, the Irish Times and the half wits at least, would get a momentary masturbatory thrill from such an action. He was always very caring towards minorities, was Enda.

23. Remember it was his notion of humanitarianism that at the outset led Enda Kenny to allow IRA people traffickers to flood our countries with Muslim Jihadis and associated Third World mafias. Is it so humane to acquiesce to barbarism? If I'm right, the Muslims will do here and are already doing here, exactly what they have done in every other country that allowed them in. They will inflict mass casualty terrorism. Then they will end the freedoms we have. After that, it's black Islamic night. The irony of the great humanitarians shepherding in a new dark ages for the human race is screaming.

Friday, June 23, 2017

the rocky murdocks picture show

The screen is dark.
A disembodied male voice sings as the opening credits appear in the blackness.
The voice is plaintive, poignant and oddly beautiful.

***

The Voice: (singing)
"I remember the chill
The day Newsweek stood still
Claiming US troops flushed Korans down the jax
And Piers Morgan was there
In silver underwear
Cheerleading the Jihadi attacks.
Then something went wrong
For Rupert Murdock and his son
They got caught in a phone tapping jam
And at a deadly pace
It came from outer space
And this is how the message ran.
Science Fiction
Ooh, oooh, oooh
Double feature.
George Bush is a liar
Tony Blair's his creature
See Jihadis fighting
Not terrorists but insurgents
And lots of talk about quagmires
It's all so urgent
Woh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
Woh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Surrender show
I remember the sorrow
When the New York Times had to borrow
Five hundred million from a Sanchez named Slim
And the Washington Post
Soon gave up the ghost
And told us that Al Qaeda would win
Then something went weirder
For Piers Morgan at the Mirror
He published fake torture photos just to pay his bills
But I really stepped back
When Lukwesa Burak
Got a haircut that spits poison and kills
In a
Science Fiction
Wooh oooh oooh
Double feature
Rupert Murdock
Oooh oooh oooh
We'll build a creature
See lawyers fighting
At the Leveson Enquiry
And Adam Bolton wondering
Why the hell don't they fire me
Woh oh oh oh oh oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture Show
Woh oh oh oh oh oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
At the late night
Woo ooh ooh
Sky News feature
Picture show
Woh oh oh oh
I wanna go oh oh oh
To the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
By RKO
Oh oh oh oh oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show

***

(Camera cuts to the interior of a Starbucks cafe in South London. It is the Starbucks where Jannat Jalil from Sky News has her morning espresso. James Healy is at a table eyeing Jannat. She, being a fan of the Heelers Diaries, knows well he is stalking her. He approaches her table tentatively.)

James: Jannat.
Jannat: Yes James.
James: (awkwardly) I really admired the elegant way,
                               You read the evening news,
                               On Sky the other day.
Jannat: Yes James.
James: Jannat.
Jannat: Yes James.

(Music starts. Other diners sing the part of the Chorus.)

James: The road was long but I ran it.
Chorus: Jannat!
James: The river was broad but I swam it
Chorus: Jannat!
James: I've one thing to say
           And that's dammit Jannat, I love you.
           Here's the ring and now you'll never look back
           True I may have a pot belly and a saggy butt
           But my love for you is deeper than for Lukwesa Burak
           She spoilt her chances with that haircut, tut tut
Jannat: This ring is flashier than Kay Burleigh's mind games.
Chorus: Oh James
Jannat: It fills my heart with passion and sultry flames
Chorus: Oh James
Jannat: And I've one thing to say, and that's James, I'm insane for you too.
James: Dammit Jannat.
Jannat: Oh James, I'm insane.
James: Dammit Jannat.
Jannat: Oh James, I'm insane.
James: Dammit Jannat.
Jannat: Oh James, I'm insane.
James and Jannat: (together) I love you.

***

(Camera cuts to a country road on a dark night. James and Jannat are driving through the rain. The car runs out of petrol. The two sit for a moment in silence.)

Jannat: What kind of man doesn't fill his car with petrol before a long journey?
James: I never put more than ten Euro's worth in the tank.
Jannat: Why?
James: Well I wanted to punish the government for imposing punitive taxation rates on petrol. And I wanted to punish the garages for failing to organise an effective lobby to stop the government imposing this tax. And I wanted to punish the oil conglomerates for trying to corner the market in oil through forward buying, thereby driving the price of a barrel of oil to 100 dollars when it should be less than ten, and perpetually gambling that the price of oil will rise and then forcing it to do so through their astonomical borrowings from collapsed idiot banks. And I wanted to punish the Arabs and the OPEC organisation for operating an illegal oil cartel against the rest of humanity. All of these corrupt vested interest groups have traded on the notion that we will never respond to their price gouging. They have waxed fat on the idea that oil is not a price sensitive commodity. We have allowed them to believe that we will buy their oil no matter what they charge. This is a very negative delusion to encourage in governments, garages or Arabs. It is apt to confuse them.
Jannat: So you punished them by stranding us.
James: Er yes.
Jannat: Oh James.
James: Oh Jannat.
Jannat: I think I might be Muslim.
James: What's that?
Jannat: Nothing. Let's go search for help.

***

(Camera cuts to the two now walking along the roadside in the rain. They are making their way towards a castle in the distance which has a light shining in a single window. The music kicks in.)

Jannat: (singing)
In the velvet darkness
Of the blackest night
No matter where
There's a guiding light

James & Jannat: (singing together)
There's a light
Over at the Murdock place
There's a ligh-igh-igh-ight
Burning in the fireplace
There's a ligh-igh-igh-ight
In the darkness
Of every night

(Camera cuts to the window of the castle. Sky News Overseas foreign affairs correspondent Tim Marshall is sitting at the window watching the rain. Tim Marshall has in the past year been sent to report from Libya, Egypt, Syria, in fact from every trouble spot in the world where there is even the remotest chance that his life might be in danger. An uncharitable observer might conclude that someone at Sky is indeed trying to kill him.)

Tim Marshall: (singing)
The darkness must glow
Down the river of my dreaming
Until Kay Burleigh goes
The sun cannot come streaming
Into my life
Into my ligh-igh-igh- ife

(Camera returns to James and Jannat)

James & Jannat:
There's a light
Over at the Murdock place
There's a ligh-igh-igh-ight
It's burning in the fireplace
There's ligh-igh-igh-ight
In the darkness
Of every night

***

(Camera cuts to James and Jannat knocking on the door of Castle Murdock. The door opens to reveal Kevin Murdock (son of Rupert) dressed as the character Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Behind him we can see Rebekkah Wade, formerly Managing Director at News International, dressed as a sexy maid.)

James: Our car broke down.
Riff Raff: You've come on a very important night. The master is having one of his affairs.
James: You mean now he's cheating on Wendy Deng?
Jannat: Shhh.
Riff Raff: I think perhaps you'd better come inside.

***

(Scene: Castle interior. A group of garishly dressed guests have congregated. James and Jannat stare as without warning Riff Raff bursts into a most infectious musical number. The other party guests join in at just the right places.)

Riff Raff:
I remember
Doing the Truth Warp
Drinking
Those moments when
People gave us direct debit access to their personal bank accounts
To pay for Sky Channel
Let's do the News International again.
Let's bribe the police force again.
It's just a jump to the left
And a step to the righ-igh-igh-ight
You put your hands on your hips
And bring your knees in tigh-igh-ight
But it's tapping people's phones
That really knocks you insa-a-a-a-ane
Let's do the Truth Warp again
Let's do the News Corp again
It's just a jump to the left.
And a step to the righ-igh-igh-ight
You bribe the Chief of Police
And bring your knees in tigh-igh-ight
But it's owning the law
That really knocks us insa-a-a-a-ane
Let's do the News Corp again
Lets bribe the police force again

(Riff Raff and the partygoers collapse in an exhausted heap. James and Jannat don't quite know what to do. Although James has appreciated the verve of the performance and is clapping vigorously.)

Jannat: Let's get out of here.
James: Nonsense. It's just getting good. Let's stay and see what happens next.
Jannat: This is not the Athy Chamber of Commerce James.
James: (With infinitely smug middle class political correctness) They're probably just Muslims with ways different from our own.
Jannat: I'm cold. I'm frightened. And I'm just plain scared. Oh. And I think I'm a Muslim too.
James: (Still infinitely smug and middle class and not really taking anything in.) Don't worry darling. We all are. Now stop being frightened. I'm here. Nothing can possibly go wrong. If we're lucky, in a moment maybe these simple country folk will perform some more shameless parodies from the Rocky Horror Picture Show for our amusement.

***

(As James and Jannat are talking the other party goers and Riff Raff have slowly revived and risen to their feet. Suddenly, a door bursts open behind Jannat's shoulder. Rupert Murdock struts in. Jannat faints. James looks enthused. Rupert launches into his trademark song.)

Rupert:
Not another wordo
I'm Rupert Murdo
And he's... (indicating Riff Raff)
My faithful maitre delice
He's a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the
Chief of Police
Don't get strung out
By the way I look
Don't judge a company by its corrupt corporate management
I may look 86 years old
By the light of day
But at night I look positively indigent
I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly Ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah-ah

James: (rapping and breaking any number of copyrights held by Jim Sharman and Richard O'Brien)
I'm glad we caught you at home
May we use your phone
We're both in a bit of a hurry
We'll just say where we are
And then get back to the car
We don't want to be any worry

Rupert: (singing)
So you got caught with a breakdown
In the middle of my shakedown
Heelers
Don't you panic
Even if Jannat dumps you
I'll find a more exotic broad to hump you
I'll get you a satanic Hispanic
Cos I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly Ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah-ah
Sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah-ah

(Rupert pauses to drink a cup of water. A man emerges from the chorus and throws a pie at him. The pie is neatly deflected by Wendy Deng who quickly hustles the would be assailant away while whaling the living tripe out of him with a metal dish.)

Rupert: (rapping)
Why don't you stay for the night
You could both have a bite
I won't tolerate any... dissension
I've been building a corrupt corporate media monopoly
You know with fake oversight from a board of directors who are all related to me
And they're good to relieve my... tension
Because
I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah
Whuh
Sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah
Oh
Don't get strung out
Because I bought the police
Don't judge a corrupt police buying company
By its corrupt corporate management
I may seem to buy a lot of cops
By the light of day
But at night
I get positively extravagant
Because I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah-ah

(Rupert changes tack suddenly and incomprehensibly)

Rupert: (singing)
The transducer will seduce ya.
You're a sensual attapensual
When we tapped your phones
Did you hear a bell ring???
You better wise up
Lord Leveson
You better shape those thighs up
And close those eyes up
I've got a gun
And I'm launching a Sunday Sun

Charles Grey: Until she cried out...

Jannat: Allah U Akbar.

(The music stops. Everyone turns and stares. Some of the more ghoulish extras cower a bit. Jannat somewhat guiltily puts her hands over her lips and looks apologetic. By the way, I challenge anyone to discern what those lines about a sensual attapensual were in the original Rocky Horror Show movie. Not since Peter Sarstead sang about lowly bontags in Where Do You Go To My Lovely, has there been such an incomprehensible vaguely obscene lyric. Or how about the bit, again in the original Rocky Horror, when Rupert sang: "How do ya do, I'm... Field Mabs Meim... faithful handyman." What the heck is Field Mabs Meim? The enigmas endure.)

***

(The awkward moment following Rupert's song and Jannat's exclamation is brought to a halt by Riff Raff drawing a ray gun and vapourising Rupert. Rebekkah Wade is upset by this turn of events.)

Rebekkah: Why did you do that? I thought you liked him. He liked you.

Riff Raff: (With infantile fury) He never liked me. And it was time for him to go. Heelers has clearly run out of steam. He's just lifting lines from the Rocky Horror Show. There aren't even any jokes.

(Riff Raff and Rebekkah turn slowly and threateningly towards James and Jannat)

Riff Raff: (With preternatural menace) You two had better leave us. My beautiful Rebekkah get ready. We return to Tasmania immediately. Prepare the transit beam.

(James and Jannat, having seen the Rocky Horror Show, know it's time to flee the building.)

***
Scene: Castle exterior. James and Jannat fall in the mud and continue scrambling towards the gate. Behind them a spectacular Truth Warp bathes the News International HQ in mystic police investigations. Presently the entire building vanishes. Gone. On a voodoo wind. Back to Tasmania. For a moment on the cold night air it is almost as if you can hear the voice of former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie hissing: "A hundred and seventy police officers investigating us. That's more than investigated Lockerbie. Cor blimey. Worra waste. Cor Bliiiiiimmmmmaaaiiiieeeee." James and Jannat are left alone in the dirt. A voiceover kicks in. It is Charles Grey whom we met very briefly and inexplicably during the last song, now reprising his career best performance as the Criminologist in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Charles Grey: (intoning)
And crawling
On the planet face
Some insects
Called the human race
Not members of the Board of News International
And not entitled to any dignity or respect or grace
Or indeed help from the police in the event that Rupert Murdock's staff, agents or companies assail, assault, violate, transgress, phone tap, kill, rape, burglarise, conduct posthumous show trials (like they did with Jimmy Saville to distract public attention from the Leveson Enquiry), or otherwise mitigate our rights in any way before the law
Even though
Cor blimey
We don't even let the police hack the phones of Jihadis
And Murdock's crew were doing it as a matter of course
To all of us
Cor blimey
Because
Basically
We're all lost
Lost in time
And lost in space
And meaning

***

The screen goes dark. The plaintive male voice from the opening credits returns to sing over the closing credits. The lyrics of the closing refrain are even more poignant than before. If that's possible.

The Voice: (singing)
There was once something rare
About Lukwesa Burak's hair
It made me want to grab her and kiss
I dreamed that we might
Run away in the night
But now I think I'll give it a miss
And Lisa Holland drove round
Old Tripoli town
With Saif Gadaffi sitting on her knee
And Rebekkah Wade
Was a sexy maid
She was
At least she worked for me
In a
Science Fiction
Double Feature
Rupert Murdock
We'll build a creature
See Alistair Campbell fighting
With Adam Bolton
Who's turning puce
And now quite molten
Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
I really was there
For Adam Bolton's live melt down on air
When Alistair Campbell straightened his tie
And young Wendy Deng
Had developed a yen
For a billionaire 86 year old man
Then something went wrong
For Osama Bin Laden
He was caught in a special forces commando raid
And at a deadly pace
He got shot in the face
And this is what his last message said
Science fiction
Oooh oooh ooh
The Leveson Enquiry
Corrupt policeman
Massive bribery
See Freemasons fighting
James and Jannat
And the Murdock Family stars in
Forbidden planet
Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
I wanna go
Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
To the late night
Sky News feature
Surrender show
By RKO
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
To the late night
Double feature
Sky News movie
Picture show

watching the defectives


1. National media coverage of a recent supposed Blasphemy Laws case in Ireland omitted a salient fact. I say "supposed" case because the omitted fact was that the whole thing was a publicity stunt. Irish police had launched a formal investigation into a television programme hosted by one Gay Byrne in which his interviewee Mr Stephen Fry expressed what might be deemed a negative overall attitude towards God. Mr Fry's excoriation of the Almighty didn't bother me personally because whenever I see Gay Byrne I don't believe in God either. The latest reports on the matter arose because the investigating police after giggling quietly to themselves over a few doughnuts for two years and charging lunatic amounts of money to the taxpayer for their services (at a time when gangland seems to have a free hand from the police to terrorise every town, village and city in the land and to deal drugs into every school) had finally announced that their investigation had been completed. And no charges would be forthcoming. Queue the standard bog standard reportage in the standard bankrupt readerless Irish Independent newspaper to wit: "Sources say no charges will be pressed as there was no injured party." Ho hum. Here is the news they didn't print. The police investigation into Gay Byrne's television interview with Stephen Fry was instigated by the producers of the programme themselves in an attempt to attract public attention to their programme. No one in Ireland has any interest in blasphemy laws or in Gay Byrne. In fact we only have Blasphemy Laws because our appeaserish politicians dreamed them up as a sop for the Muslim Jihadis currently flooding our country. NB: The flood of Jihadis has nothing to do with Climate Change which, contrary to what the Irish Independent tells you, and contrary to the prevalence of a world wide Muslim terror army, doesn't exist.

2. Media reports on last week's sea faring incident involving an American naval vessel and a cargo ship fell somewhat below the bog standard of reportage we call the bleeding obvious. Sky News and CNN told the world that the American navy ship had collided with a Japanese registered craft. The way Sky and CNN presented it, you'd think there was nothing unusual here at all. Even as they reported it, footage clearly showed that the American Navy ship had been rammed amidships. It did not collide with anything. It was rammed. That was clear from the moment the footage was broadcast but no one said it. The early reports that the cargo vessel was Japanese were also deliberately misleading. The cargo vessel was registered to Japanese owners but had a crew from the Philippines. That smells like Jihad. There was further reticence in publishing the fact that seven American crewmen had been killed and that no one had been hurt on the vessel that rammed them. Additional information now indicates that the cargo vessel performed a U turn in order to ram the American Navy ship. That still doesn't explain how a lumbering cargo vessel could get near to a modern American Naval craft. Unless the American vessel had a crew member or two who were rooting for the Jihadis. This is my analysis of what should be the major talking points in regard to the incident. We should be stating clearly that the American ship was rammed in a probable Jihad attack. And we should be asking whether the Jihadis had help from Muslims among the crew on the American ship itself.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

my one vague regret about retiring irish prime minister enda kenny

My one vague regret about the retirement of Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny is that I never owned a television network during his fifty years in office (Eight years surely? - Ed note). You see, I knew a man, a Kilcullen farmer called Ron Baines whose voice is identical to Enda Kenny's and who could have played him to perfection in a satirical prime time comedy show. Now it shall never be.

an open letter to gino kenny an elected representative in ireland's parliament in dublin

Dear Gino Kenny.
You have introduced legislation in Ireland's parliament to legalise cannabis use for what you call medicinal purposes.
The legalisation of cannabis for any purposes will enable the IRA mafia and their parliamentary proxies Sinn Fein to turn a substantial portion of their dirty money, ie the money they make from poisoning Irish people with drugs, into clean money.
Legalising cannabis as you propose to do, will also be a step towards legalising all drugs.
The strategy of legalising cannabis as a step towards legalising the entire mafia controlled drug trade has been used in other jurisdictions by mob sponsored politicians, as I'm sure you are aware.
I have suggested previously that your political organisation which you style People Before Profit and your parliamentary allies who are styled the Anti Austerity Alliance, are in fact substantially infiltrated and controlled by the IRA.
The methodology the IRA used to gain control of your political organisation was a similar one the IRA used in the 1980's to infiltrate the Dublin based anti drugs group known as Concerned Parents Against Drugs.
The IRA infiltrated Concerned Parents Against Drugs, terrorised its more honorable members into silence, and then used the group to drive out of Dublin any drug dealers who were not affiliated to the IRA.
The Concerned Parents Against Drugs turned a blind eye to IRA controlled drug dealers who were thus the only ones who could trade safely in Dublin.
This was how the IRA and their Sinn Fein proxies in parliament established their early monopoly on the drugs trade in Ireland, a monopoly which endures to this day with recognised franchise holders including Cosa Nostra, Chinese Triads, the Russian mafia, various Muslim gangs, Al Qaeda et al.
Mr Kenny your legislation will exponentially increase the power of the IRA mafia.
Already we are seeing the process of sicilianisation unfolding in Ireland, as IRA drug gangs using militias of young and not so young thugs from sink housing estates and tinker gangs, are turning our town and villages, cities and countryside, into mafia fiefdoms.
The official figures show in excess of 500 Irish people die from drug use every year.
The real figure is higher.
Those who don't die, the shambolical wrecks we see sleeping in their own vomit on Main Street, are reduced to a level beneath that of farm animals in order to keep drug dealing, people trafficking, child abusing IRA hoodlums who have never done a day's work in their lives driving around in BMWs, or Audis, or in the case of the hoodlums who live at my gate, in Jaguars.
Gino Kenny, I appeal to you, to cease introducing legislation contrived to serve the interests of the IRA in debasing yet another generation of Irish people as the IRA's older enslaved junkies keep dying off and they seek newer freedoms to enslave the next generation.
I note that you have been prominent in promoting the claims of a woman who says her daughter needs cannabis to control seizures.
I note also that the woman's claims have not been substantially verified by any proper medical authorities.
Are you sure of her bona fides?
Presumably you made some effort to check.
There are mothers and fathers who would prostitute their own children, you know, like for a million dollars.
The IRA would pay that in return for its entire cannabis operation being made legal.
Then there are some women who would prostitute their children just because they like the IRA and without any cash changing hands.
As you well know.
How did you verify the integrity of the woman you are using to justify your attempt to legalise the IRA's drug trade?
If you really wish to help her, tell the woman to bring her child to Church.
And then to Lourdes.
Then try acupuncture.
Then try alterations to diet.
Then buy the kid a horse.
Then buy her a labrador and/or a sheepdog and/or a hamster and/or hens.
These are things real mothers try when their daughters have seizures.
Real mothers don't rush to start dosing their kid with cannabis.
On the off chance that you may one day grow a conscience, I appeal to you again.
End this.
James Healy

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

if we'd had the twitter website teresa may political correctness sky news and blogs in the 1940s

Well known right wing activist Winston Churchill was arrested today on charges of inciting hatred after yet another controversial outburst.
Churchill had openly urged massive aerial rearmament in the face of what he called "the growing German threat."
A police spokesman told reporters that Churchill faced charges of incitement to hatred over his bigoted remarks on Twitter.
Prime Minister Teresa May commented: "We will not give in to hatred. We will not change our values. This is not about borders. The important thing is to cherish diversity. This is about multiculturalism. We will never fight for our country. German immigrants have a right to live among us. People like Churchill imply that all Germans are Nazis. We must engage with young Germans before they become radicalised. We must ask ourselves whether we are to blame for so many of them joining the SS, the Gestapo or Kampfgruppe Steiner. I am confident that there is no need to change course by recognising something so arcane as reality. What's a Muslim?"
Meanwhile as London and Coventry burn in the latest Luftwaffe blitz raids, Sky News has roundly blamed local councils for not providing proper bomb proof cladding for buildings in the cities.
Blogger James Healy has grown a bald patch.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

tales from the heartland

Dropped in on the little old lady from Borris In Ossory.
She's connected.
Politically.
She'd thrown me out of her house before Christmas I think because I'd given a nuanced assessment of Donald Trump who was then the incoming American President.
She did not look displeased to see me today and tea was forthcoming.
I sipped it.
The sensation scene unfolded as follows.
She said: "A lot of people forget how much we all owe the European Union. The European Union was set up at the end of World War Two to prevent another conflagration. And it has succeeded. How many people remember that the European Union has kept the peace for seventy years?"
I lowered my cup.
"You think the EU has averted war for seventy years?"
"Undoubtedly it has."
"Where have you been?"
"Jame whatever else you say, clearly there has been no repeat of the devastation we saw in 1945."
"And you think that's down to the EU?"
"It is absolutely down to the EU."
"And not to Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, Pope John Paul the Great, and me and the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation, oh and the grace of God? The grace of God it must be said, without which Ron, Maggie, the Pap, Nato and me could well have caused any number of conflagrations. You think it was the EU?"
"The EU has kept the peace by preventing the outbreak of war. We all owe the European Union a huge debt of gratitude."
Not for the first time, I felt a huge chasm open up between us.
When next I spoke it was a tad darkly.
"It hasn't kept the peace for anyone being officially and pseudo legally euthanised in the Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg and Switzerland and unofficially everywhere else; or assisted to suicide as a teenager; or being aborted as a pre born child; or being told at the age of five that they're a woman in man's body and need to transition to a new gender and at fifteen have their mickey hacked off and then remain on daily doses of maniacally powerful drugs for the rest of their lives, and that anyone who tells them different is just a transphobe. It hasn't kept the peace for a generation of the elderly being dumped in old folks homes by their selfish atheistic ingrate skanger kids and tortured by the trade unionised psychopaths we employ there. It hasn't kept the peace for all those European citizens growing up in towns, villages and cities, controlled by IRA mafia gangs, or by Cosa Nostra, or the Triads, or Al Qaeda, or the Russian mob or devil worshipping Nigerian gangs who have successfully subverted our judiciaries and police and are now effectively the power in our lands. I mean I don't want to go casting no aspoyshuns. But I gotta say this peaceful Europe of yours is not all that peaceful."
"James do I have to listen to this?"
"Well no. And that was a great cup of tea. But really. Do you really think Europe has preserved the peace? I mean, say I concede that the EU was a factor in preventing internal wars between EU member States, okay, but look around. I mean what do you think a World War looks like? I'm just asking. What on earth do Muslims have to do to get your attention? And when the German Chancellor Angela Merkel gave citizenship to millons of Muslims last year, they overnight became citizens of all our countries, precisely because of the European Union. Do you really think fifty million Muslims will live peacefully along side us? How about a hundred million? I'm telling you that Mrs Merkel, and Pope Francis when he caused the Italians to cease enforcing their borders, and the old 1980's French socialist President Mitterand who 40 years ago thought he could give Muslims citizenship and that they'd vote socialist forever, I'm telling you that between you all. you and the European Union have finished Europe."
I sensed the interview was ending and since it was her house, I reckoned it was up to me to leave.
Our parting was somewhat desultory, Lacking in joy as it were, although I fancy she might have felt a twinge of it as I vanished up the road. As partings go it lacked the pzazz of the time she threw me out when she mistakenly thought I liked Trump.
Driving on through the heartland I hung a left into Farmer Murphy's demesne.
He saluted me from the gate.
I wound down the window.
"Remember what you said to me when I tried to warn you about the Jihadis?" I called.
"I said they were hardly going to bomb that field out there," he answered.
"And I said would you really be happy for your daughters to spend their lives in that field. And never go into town. Or into the city. Or travel overseas. And your grandchildren too. And so on."
"I remember what you said."
"Do you think the Jihadis burnt down that residential tower in London?"
"You're the first one I've heard ask that."
"But what do you think?"
"Ah James, who can say."
"Just tell me what you think in your heart of hearts, Did it even occur to you for a moment as you watched those people die on prime time television, that the tower might have been destroyed because some Jihadi was mixing up bombs in his or her apartment?"
"I'm not going to go there James."
"It's getting closer though, isn't it Joe."